Rapunzel's Playground

Brand Shmand

2007-09-30T16:16:00.000+08:00

Back in elementary, I remember proudly strutting down the school hallways with my Esprit backpack slung on my shoulders (never mind that the brown straps did not match my black school shoes) that my mom brought back for me from one of her trips to the US. Being the probinsyana that I was, I thought, "wow, I look so cool!" I remember that my most prized possessions at that tender age came from a balikbayan box and bore the name "Esprit": my yellow wallet which didn't really do anything to organize my money, my brown ankle Doc Marten-type boots which I would probably not even touch these days (too butch), a pair of jeans that I insisted on wearing every chance I had... the list goes on. I remember "discreetly" showing off my stuff in class, and whenever my classmates would ask to look at them, I would "nonchalantly" oblige, as if I didn't really care, but I would be secretly glowing with pride.

Fast forward 15 years.

Handling brand management for the company I work for has definitely changed my perspective about brands in general. What is a brand anyway? It is a trade name given to a product or service. What is its relevance to us consumers? It is a promise of a level of quality a consumer can expect from the brand. Are some people better than others because they prefer (and posess) certain brands? No.

Apparently, though, some people still think so.

A few days ago, I was waiting for the elevator when a girl I worked with came up beside me. She was wearing a t-shirt, jeans and sneakers. Since the office dress code was corporate, I asked her, "Hey, why are you in jeans? Did you go somewhere?"

She said, "yeah, I went on an ocular inspection for the sports fest. Grabe, It was so hot outside!"

"Talaga? I bet." Then I glanced down at her white sneakers. I noticed that I had similar ones, not exactly identical, but from the same design family. So I mentioned, "hey, I have kind of the same sneakers, only mine are beige."

She looked at me disbelievingly. She lifted the leg of her jeans to show off the brand name seared at the ankle flap, showed it to me, and then looked at me with an annoying are-you-sure expression on her face, and said, "uh, DIESEL to."

I said, "oo nga."

Didn't I just say that I owned a similar pair of shoes? Since I did, don't you think that I would be well aware of what brand they were? Or were you thinking that there was no way that I could have owned a pair of expensive shoes like she did? Did she actually think that there was no way I could afford it? (Actually, I got them at an unbelievable knock-off, but that wasn't the point.)

Before my brain could react, the elevator doors opened and we got inside, and after 3 seconds, we were back on our floor, ungulfed with work once again, and the incident was temporarily forgotten.

The next day, we found ourselves working on something on her laptop. We were having a discussion on a presentation I was about to do in a few minutes. Then I noticed her Lacoste pouch sitting on the table (she always carries this green Lacoste pouch wherever she goes, whether it is to a meeting, or an event, or even just to talk to someone on another floor. The pouch is always within a 2-foot radius from her), so I casually asked, "hey, what's in there? I noticed kasi na you always have that pouch around, so curious lang ako what's in it."

"Ah, wait." She opened the pouch and showed me the contents. Two cellphones, a pen, lipbalm, a rosary and her thumb drive. "Some stuff lang I always have to have with me. I can't carry all of them naman just like this, so I bought a nice pouch... in Divisoria."

I was still studying the presentation on her laptop, so I absentmindedly said, "mmmm, ok."

I noticed from my peripheral view that she was still looking at me with a grin (smirk, if you will), as if waiting for a reaction. I, on the other hand, being too caught up in the thought of having to do a presentation for the management, didn't really pay attention to her.

Having gotten no reaction at all, she nudged me a little, "do you really think I would buy something from Divisoria?" Then she grinned.

Still only half-listening, I said, "uh, I don't know." Then I continued to do some revisions on the presentations.

"Of course I don't. I don't buy fake stuff." Then she grinned at me.

I discreetly took a deep breath. Hindi ko nalang pinatulan. "Ah, ok. Me neither." I smiled, then left the room.

As I recounted the two incidents to my close friends during lunch that day, we were all laughing and rolling our eyes at the same time. Apparently, this girl is a known brand whore (her friendster profile photo, after all, shows her at some hallway, wearing a yellow shirt with a huge "MANGO" printed on her chest while holding a cold Starbucks drink, logo facing the camega, of course), and they all had their own similar encounters with her. We all just shook our heads and decided that the inis really wasn't worth it, and that it was more funny and pathetic than anything else. I really have little respect for people who think the are better off than others just because they possess branded stuff (don't even get me started on Malu Fernandez).

Don't get me wrong, I am totally into brands too. I am very much partial to some, but not JUST because of the brand name and the price tag it connotes. I find that I am partial to some brands because certain denim brands fit me better, or certain make-up brands don't make me breakout in pimples, or that certain shoe brands come up with the designs I love. I choose brands because of how they work for me, not just because of what they are. We are, after all, living in a branded world, but it is not what you possess, but how you pull it off and make it work for you.

Goodbye Summer, Hello Rain

2007-08-20T14:46:00.000+08:00

I hate the summer. I am one of those people who don't find any appeal in beach-y destinations. I don't own a single pair of havaianas, and I think that the most exciting part of a trip to the beach is checking into the airconditioned hotel room.

I love the rainy season. I love it when the streets are wet, and the sky is gloomy. It's been raining a lot lately (love it), and although the streets in Makati get flooded in no time, for me it's but a minor setback.

My favorite thing to do right now is go to the friendly neighborhood Starbucks (about 2 blocks from our place in Makati) and just spend a couple of hours on the internet. The view is absolutely heavenly.

Here's to cloudy days and people who love them.

Bird Situation

2006-02-21T19:46:00.000+08:00

It was a sunny Sunday afternoon. My sister Catherine was in the living room studying and I was in my room waiting for Kookie to pick me up to go to Rockwell. I just finished getting ready when I heard Catherine's voice through my bedroom door.

"Oh my god."

I didn't mind her at first, thinking she was just talking to herself. She then opened my door and peeked inside.

"Ate, may maya sa laundry room."

Bewildered, I walked out of my room into the kitchen near the entrance to the laundry room. I slowly peeked through the glass panel on the door and there it was... a small brown bird, obviously in panic at having stumbled on unfamiliar territory.

I closed the laundry room door and glanced at my sister. It had flown through the window which was slightly opened and didn't know how to get out. We watched it as it frantically tried to find a way out, but to no avail. It just kept slamming against the glass window, onto the washing machine.

"We need to let it out." I told Catherine.

"Pabayaan nalang natin dyan," Catherine said nervously.

"Eh pano kung mamatay yan sa loob?" I said, growing more and more concerned about the bird's wellbeing (and at the thought of a tiny animal trapped and dying inside our condo). "Open the window para makalabas."

"Ba't ako? Ikaw na."

"Ikaw na, darating na si Kookie."

This bird was probably terrified out of its mind, and we were standing there, unwilling to go inside and open a small window.

"Ang daya ha." Catherine said frimly, "Jack en poy tayo." This how she and her friend usually settles disputes ending in stalemates, and this was obviously the fair way to settle ours.

"Fine." I retorted.

We held our fists in front of each other and started bouncing them. One, two three... I lost, to Catherine's obvious relief.

I took a deep breath and slowly slid into the room. Once inside, the bird frantically flew around the small room, inches within me, obviously panicing at having a strange presence inside the tiny room with it. I froze, frantic myself for the exact same reason. I shrieked and looked through the glass door through the kitchen. Catherine was watching my every move, obviously glad it wasn't her inside dealing with the tiny bird.

I went outside, shut the door, and thought for a minute.

"Bigyan nalang natin ng food para ma-distract while you open the window." Catherine suggested, still obviously glad she didn't have to open the damn window.

"Sige," I said. "Kuha ka ng bigas."

"Ba't bigas? Spaghetti nalang."

"Bigas nalang."

"Bigas? Kumakakain ba ang mga ibon ng bigas?!"

"Nakakita ka na ba ng ibon na kumakain ng spaghetti?!?" At this point, I was just worried that Kookie might be arriving already and would have to wait inside her car just because we were too chicken to let a little damn bird out.

Catherine paused for a second, realizing it made sense. She fetched a pinch of bigas, and tossed the grains inside the room.

I then slowly sneaked inside the door.

"Maglilinis ako ng condo pag napalabas mo yan," Catherine offered, trying to give me moral support.

The bigas trick seemed to work because the bird didn't mind my entering the room a second time. I slowly picked up a mop that was leaning on the wall and used the handle to push the window open. Once open all the way, I quickly left the room and shut the door to the laundry room.

We both watched as the bird finally flew out the window and we both heaved a sigh of relief.

I recounted the whole story to Kookie as we were driving to Rockwell a few minutes later. We were both laughing so hard at how idiotic our predicament was, and how even more idiotic the way we dealed with it was.

Oh well, at least we wouldn't have to deal with who would take care of disposing a dead bird inside the laundry room.

And thanks to Catherine who lived up to her word, the condo is spotless.

Countryside Comedy

2005-10-05T14:02:00.000+08:00

I've been busy the past few weeks with nationwide expansion projects, and as a result, I've been able to visit a few places around the country. Each place I've been to has its own unique beauty, and I've come to love every city. There were some moments though that made me stop for a moment and think, "what the...?"

***

We took the 5am flight to Cagayan De Oro, and I was the first in our group to arrive at the airport. I was patiently waiting outside the departure area when my officemate called...

Officemate (a bit flustered): Girl, asan ka?
Me: Outside the departure area, waiting for you. Asan ka?
Officemate: Eto, binababa ko na yung gamit ko, in line na. Where are you?

I looked around my surroundings for her. Seeing no sight of her, I asked her...

Me: Where are you exactly? Are there any signs above you? What do they say?
Officemate: Wait, 'pre-de-par-ture-area, A-sian-spi-rit..."
Me: Girl, Philippine Airlines tayo...

(Ay...)

***

We were launching in Tacloban, and the same offimate and our boss were looking around for a token to present to our guest speaker. There were no malls in Tacloban, but I remembered visiting a mini-department store during my ocular visit there a month back. I told them to ask around for a store named "Kevin's"...

Boss to tricycle driver (there were no cabs in Tacloban: Manong, sa Kevin's po tayo.
Tricycle driver (confused): Huh, saan po yun?
Boss to tricycle driver: Sige ho, di bale nalang.

The tricycle driver drives off. Boss and officemate hails the next tricycle that comes along.

Boss to tricycle driver: Manong, alam nyo po kung saan yung Kevin's?
Tricycle driver (with the same confused look as the first one): Ano?
Boss: Sa Kevin's ho, sa KE-VIN'S.
Officemate to boss (impatiently): Mother, wag kang magsalita. Ako ang kakausap.
Officemate turns to tricycle driver: Manong, sa KIBINS tayo.
Tricycle driver: Ah, KIBINS! Sige, sakay na kayo!

(Oo nga naman.)

***

During our Tacloban event, we hired a local DJ to do the voice over...

DJ (announcing dinner time): The buffet table is now open. Let us now partake in the feast in store for us. BUUUUNAAAAAA - PITI!

(Bisaya and French do not mix well...)

***

On the morning flight to Naga, our obviously gay flight attendant was handing out snacks. He got confused and was mistakenly going to give us chiffon slices again.

Boss: We have na.
Flight attendant: Ah, we have na?

(He can relate.)

***

We have just wrapped up our nationwide expansion project last month, so it's goodbye to the early morning airport call times, incredible untouched scenery, fresh air, and wacky tourist adventures. I am surely going to miss it, but these memories will definitely make me laugh for a long time to come.

Of Courage

2005-08-22T20:53:00.000+08:00

Their relationship is something that neither of them can (or wants to) define. The friendship they had has been tainted with a series of events that puts them in a very uncertain state. Whether one is just leading the other on is unclear. All that is present are vague conversations and ambiguous banter centered around something neither of them is courageous enough to say out loud.

She is cautious. She is unwilling to drop all defenses and take the giant leap of faith, especially when, in her mind, he would be reluctant to open up as she is unwilling take the risk. And although there have been a number of opportunities for him to step up and take the stand which would have made all the difference, she would unsurprisingly find him retreating into his comfort zone and choose to continue with their trivial repartee.

She is scared. He has wounded her before, and whether or not that was intentional, it has nevertheless permanently stung her, and the trust that she has once unselfishly given him is now tainted.

She is tired. The more she analyzes the situation, the more it doesn't seem to make sense. Even if one of them decides to take a leap of faith, the circumstances surrounding them both would make it even more difficult and the sacrifice they would both have to make would be tremendous.

She is pensive. Nursing the feeling would obviously bring more harm than good, as it would mean being sucked into the blackhole she has only narrowly escaped from the past. There is a fine line between recovering from only a minor scratch and having to put a broken person back together.

Over lunch with her best friend, she heaved a frustrated sigh as she tried to make sense of the situation that was almost drowning her. The last thing she wanted to happen was for the emotion to consume her. She took a deep breath, sat up straight, and lifted her eyes to meet her best friend's knowing, concerned gaze.

"I don't want him to be the one."

Perspective

2005-07-23T22:35:00.000+08:00

"All those things we used to worry about... love life, work, life's annoying moments in general... all of that doesn't matter, now that I'm meeting God."

We were having lunch in Glorietta this afternoon, and a friend was telling us about the last thing her best friend told her before she lost her 8-month battle with colon cancer.

That time, I was in workaholic mode. I came straight from the office, planning to just grab a quick bite with them and head back spend the rest of the long weekend in front of my computer, working overtime. I have two major projects running at the moment, and I have been scrambling just to keep up with a workload meant for 3 people.

I was also very cynical, due to a recent incident with (and realization about) someone I have known for years whom I used to think so highly of, but turned out to be just another pompous egomaniac who seems like he enjoys taking other people for a ride and doesn't give a damn if he ends up breaking them.

At that particular moment, what I heard made me evaluate everything I had in my life...

My family, though incomplete, is still the most important aspect of my life. With my dad gone, my mom abroad and my eldest sister settling down in the province, we all know that we have to work hard to keep in touch and have a harmonious relationship with each other. We have our share of fights ranging from the most shallow tampuhans to the most violent domestic quarrels, but we do manage to come out of the situation stronger and tighter as a family than ever.

I have great friends, whom I know will give me the shirts off their back when I need them. I have met a horde of people through the years, but it is nice to sift through all the superficial relationships I have made and know that when crunch time comes, there will be people who will not think twice about being there through it all.

I have chosen to look beyond the conventional faith I have grown up with, and have learned to dig deeper into what I believe in. I am still in the process of figuring out where my soul will find its home, and I know that when I am ready, I will be able to completely surrender to my faith. What keeps me grounded is the knowledge that I have been pointed to the right direction.

I don't completely discount all the other stuff though. I do admit that I enjoy having a healthy social life, and that my bi-monthly spa sessions are a staple. My career is still very important to me, and I will never stop being ambitious and taking risks. I just now have a clearer understanding of what defines me, and the rest is just frosting. Maybe my life will not forever change because of that story told over lunch, but it will sure help in putting things in perspective the next time a cab driver tries to overcharge me, my supplier doesn't meet his deadline, or my love life doesn't work out yet again. It isn't so bad, as long as the really important stuff is still there.

I called my officemates who were working like lunatics on a sunny Saturday afternoon and told them that I would not be going back to the office that day. I wanted to push work out of my mind for once and just enjoy the rest of the afternoon with my sisters and my nephew. Yes, I would be paying for that spur of the moment decision by sacrificing my holiday Monday, but what the hell. I will still earn my paycheck, and I will not lose my job. One look at Pablo, my two-year-old nephew, wide-eyed, excited and in heaven inside a toy store is worth it all.

Warning! Topic is Highly "Female"

2005-07-04T12:11:00.000+08:00

I have always been well-endowed... at least since I noticed that puberty was creeping into my system. I used to go through utter humiliation everytime my classmates would tease me about having to wear a bra when most them could make to with sandos or trainer bras. They would taunt me about not being able to jump up and down, and how everytime we were distributed one-size-fits-all t-shirts, mine would be just a little too snug in the chest area. I hated being well-endowed... at least in High School.

Let's just say I began embracing my womanhood in college. Yes, my closest friends would still tease me about it, but having gotten my higher education in a very liberal university where it was normal to not be normal, nobody really cared if my cupsize wasn't that of a typical Asian woman. "Hey, some women (and occassionally, some men) pay big bucks to have what I have. Maybe it isn't such a bad thing after all," I thought. "Thank god for my lola's genes." And so there it goes, I began to appreciate my being "gifted."

At present though, I feel like my honeymoon period with them is slowly wearing out. I am beginning to go back to my first opinion that this is more a curse than a gift. I have come up with a few reasons why...

1. Buying bras in the Philippines is next to impossible. I have to have them sent from abroad.
2. Getting massages can be rather painful as I have to lie on my stomach.
3. Watching a pregnant woman's chest balloon from a cup A to a C makes me want to think twice about getting pregnant myself.
4. Button-down shirts are unwearble without a safety pin.
5. PMS brings twice (or sometimes even thrice) the pain.
6. Certain tops which may look perfectly innocent on any other girl are in danger of looking downright skanky on us.
7. Without the right precautions, active sports can be a very painful experience.
8. Because of their weight, most of us well-endowed women develop lower-back pains.
9. For the same reason, the thought of what they might look like thirty years down the road is downright scary.

Indeed, being well-endowed is a curse in disguise.

A Thorn Among the Roses

2005-06-24T15:48:00.000+08:00

I work for a fairly large company, where it is virtually impossible to meet and get to know every single employee. I discovered recently though, that the best way to meet the company's roster of cute guys (or in my case, just discover that cute guys are actually existent) is during the building fire drill.

We all gathered in front of the building, watching firemen put out a fake fire. Half an hour of this was enough to find out his name and department, make small talk and even get treated by him to a refreshing glass of buko juice.

Our department is made up of 6 PMS-driven females (myself included) and a middle-aged closet queen. This new development is indeed an interesting one. Hmmm. Maybe I should buy new shoes and wear make-up to work more often.

Soundtracks

2005-06-16T17:24:00.000+08:00

This is the Musical Baton, as passed to me by Ivan.

Total volume of music files on my computer:
I'm not sure about the volume, but I know I have around 400 mp3s which took me about four years to collect.

Last CD I bought:
I bought 4 all at the same time:
Tales of a Librarian, by Tori Amos
Diary, by Alicia Keys
Tunog Kalye
and U-Turn, by U-Turn

Song playing right now:
An a capella version of Iris, by The Googoo Dolls, from a compilation of pop songs arranged in a capella, sang by the group Voices. (Thanks again, Dennis. I never get tired of this CD :))

Five songs I listen to a lot, and that mean a lot to me:

Tatooed on my Mind, by D'Sound
Maybe you soon forget about all
or maybe you'll miss it like I do
one thing's for sure:
I'm all knocked out
spend too much time thinking of you
And I can't get you out of my dreams
Now I know that you're the dangerous kind
and your smile is tattooed on my mind
And I can't get you out of my dreams...

Beautiful Disaster, by Kelly Clarkson
...Oh when I don't know
I don't know what he's after
But he's so beautiful
Such a beautiful disaster
And if I could hold on
Through the tears and the laughter
Would it be beautiful?
Or just a beautiful disaster...

I Can't Make You Love Me, by George Michael
Turn down the lights
Turn down the bed
Turn down these voices
inside my head
Lay down with me
Tell me no lies
Just hold me close,
don't patronize
Don't patronize me
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't
You can't make your heart feel
something it won't
Here in the dark
in these final hours
I will lay down my heart
And I'll feel the power
but you won't
No, you won't
Cause I can't make you love me
if you don't...

Waiting in Vain, by Annie Lennox
From the very first time I laid my eyes on you boy
My heart said follow through
But I know now that I'm way down on your line
But the waiting feels just fine
So don't treat me like a puppet on a string
Cause I know how to do my thing
Don't talk to me as if you think I'm dumb
I wanna know when you're gonna come
I don't want to wait in vain for your love...

The Art of Letting Go, by Mikaila
Put away the pictures, put away the memories
I go over and over through my tears
I've held them 'til I'm blind, they kept my hope alive
as if somehow that might keep you here
won't you believe in a love forevermore
how do you leave it in a drawer
Now here it comes, the hardest part of all
unchain my heart that's holding on
how do I start to live my life alone
guess I'm just learning, learning the art of letting go...

Five people I'm passing this to:
Kookie
Marc
Jojo
Tet
Russ

Musings

2005-06-05T14:42:00.000+08:00

There's this girl from work that I've been seeing around and hearing a lot about. We have quite a few comon friends, but I've never formally met her until this week. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the person behind the kwentos is very interesting and very fun to be with. It's always fun to get to know the personality behind a familiar face.

***

Things have been very hectic at the office. Normally, I would drop everything and focus on work, but this time, I've learned to strike a balance. I will no longer compromise my social life or my health for work. It isn't helping that my immediate boss is just slightly more useful than a paperclip, but hey, all the more reason for me to prove myself, right?

***

I've finally gotten around to giving my blog a much needed facelift. It will take a while for me to get used to this new look, but I'm beginning to like it more and more.

My Two Cents on "American Idol"

2005-06-01T18:29:00.000+08:00

Almost a week since the final result show of this year's season of American Idol, and I am still reeling from the outcome.

I can't believe it. Bo Bice lost.

Yes, Carrie Underwood does have a good singing voice, but it's nothing we've never seen before.

Constantine was originally my favorite, but ever since that shocking episode when we was booted off, I was rooting for Bo.

Oh well, I guess that there is no room for a rocker on a pop idol contest. Yet.

Lightning Fast

2005-05-30T08:22:00.000+08:00

Kookie, Harry and I spent Saturday night in Greenhills, hanging out at the balcony of a bar. While we were drinking, it started to rain. As we watched rows and rowns or cars get drenched beneath us, it occured to me...

Where has the summer gone?!

My skin was still pale from obviousy never seeing the sushine. I had no tanlines to show off in tanktops, and my cheeks missed the just-been-to-the-beach flush. Not that I particularly enjoy summers anyway. Actually, I hate it when it's hot, and summer has more effect on my moodswings than PMS ever will. It just surprised me how fast the seasons change from under my nose.

Oh well, at least the rainy season is here. Now this is my happy season.

Go Figure

2005-05-19T20:22:00.000+08:00

My schedule has never been tighter because my workload has doubled since I got transfered to Marketing. Ironically, my social life has never been more alive. The thing is, my friends and I go out during the week, but not usually during the weekends. That gives me about 4 to 5 hours of sleep before my alarm clock knocks me off of my blissful slumber and I have to drag myself to work. My weekends, on the other hand, are spent with me imitating a couch potato in front of the TV.

It's funny how lately, I either have too much of a good thing at a given time, or none at all the rest of the time.

Uncomfortable

2005-05-14T15:29:00.000+08:00

I am lesbo-phobic.

Sincere apologies to the lesbians I might be offending. I have nothing against this type of sexual preference, but I do not appreciate being put in a situation where I am made uncomfortable by their actions because I do not want to have to be rude to them (or anyone, for that matter).

There's this girl I just met who makes me more and more uncomfortable the longer I know her. She says that she has a boyfriend, but my gaydar goes haywire whenever we talk (It doesn't help either that she really looks butch). It started when we were walking to a nearby restaurant the other day to have lunch, and while we were chatting (two of our other companions were walking ahead of us, deep in conversation about something work-related), she kept grabbing my hand. I would then pretend to brush the hair off my eyes, and the moment I relax my arm on my side, she would grab it again. Thank god the restaurant was just a couple of blocks away.

I had a deadline yesterday, so I was very occupied all morning, oblivious to what was happening around me. She passed by my desk and said hi. When I looked up to return the greeting, she said, "ang ganda talaga ng mukha mo," and at the same time ran her fingers across my forehead.

Oh my god. My insides shook. I have a very well-harnessed gaydar, and whenever I get this feeling, I am right most of the time. Like I said earlier, I have nothing against lesbians whatsoever, but if she is gay, I do not appreciate the fact that she tries to pass off as straight in order to get close to girls.

Right now, I am trying to be as professinal as possible, thank god that our desks are on opposite ends of the room. I have no idea how to tell her that her actions make me very uncomfortable without offending her. I guess that it's a good thing that she will only be with the company for a few months before her contract ends. Until then, I will grit my teeth through this all.

Summer Sucks

2005-05-08T21:58:00.000+08:00

I am not a summer person. As my sister pointed out, summer loses it's hype as soon as you're out of school. I hate not being able to dress up because of the heat, and I hate not being able to go outdoors at noon for fear of being fried alive. I am not particularly fond of going to the beach (unless there were an air-conditioned shopping center within 100 meters from the shore), and during out of town beach trips, I find myself cursing the sun and locking myself inside the comfort of an air-conditioned room, wishing for rain.

This summer is especially excruciating because the airconditioner in our area of the office broke down, and our only source of relief from the heat is a pamaypay made from recycled paper. What's more, I have to wear a suit to work everyday (what I wouldn't give to be able to go to work in a cotton t-shirt, a pair of shorts and open-toed sandals).

Welcome to my version of hell. Someone take me somewhere cool and don't bring me back until the rainy season.

Career Move

2005-05-07T22:34:00.000+08:00

The last few weeks has been a blur. My request to get transfered from sales to marketing was granted, so my workload doubled. I don't care though, because I don't have to deal with quotas, sucking up to clients and sexual harassment, and I get to play client this time. I am dead tired, but having the top officers of the company notice me makes it all worth it.

I haven't been this fulfilled with work in a long time. :)

"X" Means "Yes"

2005-04-15T20:00:00.000+08:00

Borrowed from Kookie's blog :)

Have you ever?

( ) snuck out of the house
(x) gotten lost in your city
(x) seen a shooting star
(x) been to any other countries besides the united states
( ) had a serious surgery
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas
( ) kissed a stranger
( ) hugged a stranger
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
(x) done drugs
(x) had alcohol
(x) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(x) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
( ) swore at your parents
(x) been in love
(x) been close to love
(x) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
(x) broken a bone
(x) been high
(x) skinny-dipped
(x) skipped school
( ) flashed someone
( ) saw a therapist
(x) played spin the bottle
(x) gotten stitches
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(x) bitten someone
( ) been to Niagara Falls
(x) gotten the chicken pox
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
(x) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
(x) stolen something from your job
(x) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
(x) been to Europe
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced
( ) had children
( ) seen someone die
( ) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa
( ) Driven over 400 miles in one day
( ) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
(x) Thrown up in a bar
( ) Purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(x) Eaten Sushi
( ) Been snowboarding
(x) Met someone in person from the internet
( ) lost a child
(x) gone to college
( ) done hard drugs
( ) tried killing yourself
(x) fired a gun
( ) purposely hurt yourself
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now

Glad to have that off my chest. Harhar. :)

What have you become?

2005-04-13T19:23:00.000+08:00

There are friends whom you keep no matter what (like the person I was referring to in my last entry), and there are people whom you considered to be your friends for a time, but the longer you know them, the more you wonder how in the world you became friends in the first place.

There is this person whom let's just say makes we want to pull my own hair everytime we come into contact.

I only hear from this girl whenever she has a favor, never mind that her "favors" are such a big hassle that you have to drop the things you are doing just to be able to accommodate her. (By the way, I would be a lot more understanding if her favors are really important. Maybe it's just me, but when you ask to come over with two of your friends I don't even like just to be able to watch a certain late-night TV show that you "just can't miss" because if you go homw, you won't be allowed to go out and party anymore on a night when I need to sleep early because I have to be at work by 6am, it doesn't exactly qualify as "a matter of life and death.")

I have never met anyone who is more self-absorbed than her. She has a grand illusion that the world stops revolving when she has something to say, and that when she animatedly recounts all her worldly (and I only use the word "worldly" because I do not want any obscene words in my blog) escapades, we are actually interested. She is oblivious to the fact that we have more important things to do than be on the receiving end of such idle, self-gratifying blabber. It is absolutely exhausting being around her, for the simple reason that she doesn't stop talking about herself, with obviously no genuine interest for anything that does not involve her.

A friend and I were talking about this, bewildered by what she has become. In just a few years, she has morphed from a magnetic free spirit into Malibu Barbie-meets-Narcissus. The concepts of maturity, consideration and responsibility are all lost on her.

The thing that bothers me the most about her, though, is the that she isn't a person you would love to hate. In fact, she is a sweetheart, and although I would rather undergo a root canal than spend an hour with her, the guilt of having these thoughts always creep up behind me. I made friends with her once upon a time, and I hate having to question when, how or why.

My dear, who are you and what the heck have you done with my friend?

Reunited

2005-04-12T19:15:00.000+08:00

I met up with a long lost friend last Saturday, and we ended up talking all night until the first rays of sunlight hit our faces. Over smokes, ice-cold water and under semi-darkness, we laughed and cried as we recounted the events we have missed in each other's lives. A year is enough to change a person, but it is amazing how two people are just able to pick up where they left off, like no time was lost at all.

Here's to you Sweet. Here's to love, life, passion, and all things intangible and priceless that make us whole.

Away From Krypton

2005-03-17T17:03:00.000+08:00

I am not normally what you would call a spineless damsel in distress. In fact, I have been told that I am a "scary girl" because I look like I can make men wither with a single raise of an eyebrow (thanks a lot, Kookie. But then again, you know what they say about birds of the same feather...). Some people call it having an air of confidence. Some say that it is being a "you go girl!" girl. Some people just plainly call it being a bitch. Either way, it doesn't bother me. For one thing, it's a great quality control measure when it comes to guys, and it definitely wards off indecent advances from sleezy guys... or so I thought.

The dynamic at our workplace is very interesting. We spend a big chunk of our work day in banks, since our market is their client base. Because of this, our rapport with the back staff, most especially the bank manager, is crucial to our productivity. I wouldn't exactly call it kissing ass, but we do have to make nice with them. Normally, I have no problem at all getting along with people. In fact, I have a knack for dealing with co-workers. Right now, I actually enjoy going to work every morning because of the people, and I feel like the past few months of blood, sweat and tears is paying off because I am finally getting the knack of doing my job, and I am slowly earning the respect of my collegues and superiors. For the most part, at least.

One bank manager I was assigned to has been very nice to me. In fact, as soon as I was on board, he made every effort to make sure I was comfortable with his branch. There was next to no superior-subordinate gap with him, which made my job a whole lot easier. In no time, we were kidding around like old buddies. He would offer to take me to my next appointments, and I gladly obliged because it would give me a chance to build rapport with him even more. One time we were on our way to Makati, he started talking about personal matters. I am very uncomfortable with this, since I do not like to mix work with my personal life, but hey, any rapport was good rapport right? I suppose it was a good thing because he was starting to think of me as an equal. I was beginning to convince myself that the conversation wasn't as inappropriate as I thought, when he reached over to grab something from the glove compartment and his hand accidentally brushed against my thigh.

Cool it Tina, it was an accident. And I didn't think about it again.

I then started to feel a bit off when he would make comments with sexual undertones more and more often. He would always have something to say about what I was wearing, and even when I was quietly working at my table, I would always feel him staring at me from across the room for some reason. He started to touch my arm more and more often when he had something to say to me. I noticed that I would unconsciously never enter the pantry whenever I knew that he was in there alone. I thought that if I stopped joking around with him, he would start treating me a little more professionally. After all, I wasn't on his payroll.

Last week, this balding forty-something bank manager leaned over, and said something explicit and lewd to me, his face literally an inch away from my ear (I can't even publish what he said to me here, it is that disgusting.). I was shocked. Right then, I knew that it wasn't something I could brush off anymore. I couldn't continue working there. I tried to regain my composure, I quietly fixed my things and got the hell out, and I haven't reported there since. I will have to sooner or later, but I already told my boss about the incident, and she gave me permission to leave that branch out for now.

"Who would have thought back in college that we would actually have to deal with these issues? I mean, we were so intimidating, and we were so in control!" Kookie made this point when I told her about all of this last night (I won't even start about her issues.). It made me think a little. In a few years, I have morphed into a commoner in the real world from an idealistic college student who felt like she would take the world by storm when she graced it with her presence. Boy, what a few years in the workforce does to you. Now, whenever I meet students from my alma mater, I always say to myself, "was I really that smug? Wait till he actually gets a taste of the real world."

For the first time since this incident, I am going to admit that I am scared. This is as real as it can get, and I am not entirely sure that I know what to do. Even "scary girls" like me go through issues like this after all.

Long Absence

2005-03-12T21:35:00.000+08:00

My pc is in the ICU. Hopefully, she will survive the treatment.

In the meantime, please bear with my blogspot hibernation. I will be back in circulation soon.

The Anatomy of a Bad Week

2005-02-25T22:00:00.000+08:00

1. Finding the perfect pair of shoes, but your size is out of stock.
2. Your PC needing to be reformatted because of a nasty spyware infection.
3. Not being able to check your email for a month because of the nasty spyware infection.
4. Your room is a mess but you hardly have enough time to get enough sleep.
5. Your boss breathing down your neck when your client is going out of town for a week.
6. Being stuck in a useless, boring seminar all day when you have a two-page to-do list for work that needs imediate attention.
7. Your favorite necklace breaking the day it would go perfect with the outfit you are wearing.
8. Coming home after a long sweaty day at work, looking forward to a relaxing bath, only to find out that there will be no running water available all night.
9. Having to deal with office politics two years AFTER resigning from hell company.
10. A too-friendly-for-comfort client who can make or break your career.

Thank god for foot spas. Looking at my now bright red toenails lifts my mood somewhat. I wish Monday never comes.

Morality versus Need

2005-02-10T18:54:00.000+08:00

Girl's job requires her to spend most of her working hours in a bank. Girl is very attractive, with her silky brown hair, doe eyes, milky white skin and long lean body. Her parents are jobless, and at the young age of 23, she is already the family breadwinner. Girl's paycheck alone can barely sustain her whole family's needs.

Client has been with the bank for years. He is a very valued depositor of the bank. Client is married with children. Client is twice Girl's age.

Client sees Girl and is instantly mesmerized. He asks her out on a date, and Girl goes with him. He gives her the moves, and she welcomes his advances. Client offers Girl a job at his company, with a fat paycheck and "special privileges". Girl accepts and leaves her job.

Three months later Client applies for an extension of his credit card in Girl's name. One month after that, Girl moves into a new fully furnished condominium owned by Client. Girl visits the bank once in a while to update her new bank account. Client is always by her side. His wife and children do not know a thing.

There has been a lot of talk at work about this situation. Many many raised eyebrows, and many many opinions have surfaced. Was it proper? Was it decent? Heated debates during lunch hour have become a staple, and arguments over whether she was immoral, cheap, or even scheming and brilliant about the whole thing were expressed.

"Would you have done the same thing?" A co-worker asked me this yesterday, after another visit from Girl and Client to the bank. The question did not surprise me. After all, the reason I was hired was to replace the position the girl left, so the comparison was forthcoming. I just laughed at the thought. For the life of me, I cannot imagine myself being attracted to an old balding married guy for his money. But then, I have never been in that situation. I am fortunate to have a comfortable life, which does not put me in a position of extreme need. Would it be right to cast stones? Personally, I do not think was they did was proper, and if she really had to do it, it would have been a bit better if she had been discreet about it.

Morality versus need. For some, there would be no contest either way. Faced with the same situation though, what would you really do?

Tricky.

Today, I learned...

2005-01-28T21:32:00.000+08:00

... that there is always a story behind people's quirks, and it pays to listen before passing judgment.
... how to choose my battles. Not everything is worth fighting for.
... that patience has its limits, and that relieving yourself of negativity is the best thing you can do for your sanity.
... that it pays to be nice.
... that it is a good thing to never burn bridges.
... that character counts.
... that it is not so much what your past did to you, but how you choose to deal with the present.
... that although beauty is only skin deep, it pays to look good anyway.
... that offensive people never win.
... that no matter how many times life kicks you in the shins, it is still worth living.

On Patience (Part II)

2005-01-23T13:39:00.000+08:00

There is no such thing as unconditional love, at least at this point, I don't think there is. There is no excuse for extreme rudeness and wretchedness, family ties or no family ties.

***

When you are ugly inside, it will definitely seep outside.

***

When your personality is made up of cut-up-and-pasted versions of other people's personalities (the kind of coffee you like, the music you listen to, the books you read, etc.), it will be very difficult to take you seriously. A little soul searching will help a lot.

***

You are your truest self when you are with your family. If what you show them and what you show other people are worlds apart, then you are one big fake. Also, it pays to know your place in the hierarchy. And no matter what you say, it pays to be nice. There is no excuse for disrespect. You will not get away with crossing paths with everyone.

***

Humility takes a whole lot more courage than pride. Pride is a coward's game.

My friends tell me that I am too patient. I think I have just crossed the line, and what comes up must come down. I choose my battles, and this is full-on war. Let's see who ends up waving the white flag.

Preach

2005-01-22T01:08:00.000+08:00

One morning, not too long ago, I had to go to Meralco to pay our electric bill. I hopped on a cab, told the driver where to go, stared out the window, not really paying attention to anything we passed by. My thoughts drifted to work...

"Nakarinig na po ba kayo ng tungkol sa kaligtasan?"

I was jolted back to reality by the voice from inside the vehicle. "Huh?"

The cab driver looked at me from the rearview mirror. "Kaligtasan po. Malapit na po ang end of the world. Nagshe-share lang po ako ng mga aral sa lahat ng mga pasahero ko."

I was barely awake, and therefore not in the mood for such a discussion, I just stared out the window again and cleared my throat. He obviously didn't get the hint.

"Diba 'God is love'? Sang-ayon po ba kayo doon?"

"Hindi." God is not merely "love". He is immeasurable.

"Naniniwala ho ba kayo sa Diyos?" This time, he was looking at me from his rear view mirror, the vehicle at a halt because of the red light. I stared back at him. "Of course."

The traffic light then turned green and he diverted his attention back to the road. "Kahit naman ang demonyo, naniniwala sa Diyos, 'di po ba?"

I continued to stare at him from where I was seated. There were so many things I wanted to fire back at him, but at that moment, we were already in front of Meralco. I handed him a P100 bill and he handed me P10 short of what should have been my change.

I have chosen a different religious path from what was brought up with, but I do not impose my truth with other people. I have no problem about discussions of religious nature, and I am more secure about my faith than ever. It is self-righteousness I cannot stand.

Balikbayan

2005-01-11T17:51:00.000+08:00

My cousin who grew up in California is here on vacation with three of her friends who are also balikbayans, and we got to hang out with the last weekend. It was so funny how the things you never even notice anymore amazes them. While drinking on my brother-in-law's porch, they animatedly recounted seeing a whole family (dad, mom, child and baby) traveling on a single motorcyle along EDSA, buses speeding down the road, snaking their way through other vehicles, people ignoring pedestrian lanes and crossing the street inspite of the danger of being rammed by ongoing traffic, etc. The thing that amused me the most was how amused they were about all of this. Their eyes were full of awe, as if saying, "I wouldn't get away with that over there!"

People usually think that balikbayans are no more than stuck-up american wannabes, but when you think about it, they are the ones who really appreciate the culture, sometimes even more than us resident Filipinos. I was pleasantly surprised about how well-versed they were about our history, and how they were so eager to learn about the Philippines. They were the ones who proudly told us that Boracay is considered the second best beach resort in the world next to Bali and followed by Hawaii and that they were amazed at how much Metro Manila has improved in just a few years.

Having balikbayans over just reinforces my desire to stay in the Philippines and never have to go abroad to work. There is indeed no place like home.

Pedestal

2004-12-21T17:48:00.000+08:00

Have you ever known a person whom you think so highly of, that every single word that escapes his lips is a gospel reading? Have you ever been so addicted to someone's company, that just the thought of seeing him again is enough to get you out of your warm bed during a cold December morning? Have you ever trusted someone with your life, and almost blindly just take in every word he says as the truth?

Has he ever disappointed you and in the process sent your emotions on a cruel roller coaster ride?

Distance changes people. The nasty thing about it is that no matter how much anger, frustration or even pain you feel at a given moment, it never negates the fact that this person will always remain on a pedestal. And no matter how much you try to contain your pride, you will always end up scrambling to mend fences and start all over again.

Useless Musings from over the Weekend

2004-12-13T18:51:00.000+08:00

Spent Saturday night with a guy I used to like (actually, "like" is an understatement. "Obsess" is a little more accurate.). Once you get past the wierdness that comes with heavy emotional ek, it's actually very refreshing to start over and just enjoy each other's company without the complication of having "feelings" that eat you up from inside.

***

Drinking last Saturday was a blast, and I didn't feel a thing until I actually realized how many bottles I had. I therefore conclude that you will never get drunk if you don't count.

***

Need a laugh trip? If you are a Globe user, you can avail of their new dictionary service. Just type "translate(space)(word you want translated)" and send it to 2333. The bastos words are the funniest. Best done with a group of friends over drinks.

***

Alcohol + A bachelor (read: player) with "girl-problems" + 2 highly emotional PMS-y women = One helluva "Don't-be-a-jerk" sermon

***

One packet of Extra Joss will wake you up. Two packets of Extra Joss will turn your brain into mush for the rest of the day.

New Girl

2004-12-07T18:35:00.000+08:00

The first day at work is not very different from the first day at school. You worry about whom to have lunch with and how much time you will have to sit and stare at the ceiling before the clock reads "5:30 pm". Above all of this though, there is always one question that will clog your mind.

Will these people be nice to me?

It's so amusing how possessing a huge kikay kit full of make-up can suddenly make women a whole lot friendlier. On the other hand, wearing a short skirt, 3-inch stilettos and red lipstick has exactly the same effect on men.

Creepy

2004-12-04T19:39:00.000+08:00

After lunch today, I went with Kookie to her salon to accompany her while she got her hair done. After her haircut, we decided to go to Makati Cinema Square to check out the tiangge there. We were checking out phones and laughing at the clothes they sold, when she remembered that she wanted to check out if this Wicca store was still open. Kookie is into Wicca, and she said that she used to buy stuff from there a few years back. The store was located at a secluded spot in the basement, where, aside from the almost full binggo place, had a lot less foot traffic. When we got there, we were surprised to see that the store closed down already. The glass doors were sealed shut and a makeshift plywood wall was used to keep people away. Signs written on masking tape strips said "Do not open. -Management", and were stuck all over what used to be the entrance to the store. Curious, we peered inside the dark room. At first, all I saw were remnants of an abandoned stall. The former tenants left a lot of stuff inside and was obviously in a hurry when they evacuated, but aside from that, I didn't see anything too weird. I looked at Kookie and sighed, "hmmm, bakit kaya?" Then, she looked at me and quietly said, "may nangyari dito." I peered inside the glass door. What I saw on the floor sent chills through my spine.

A pentacle was drawn in black spray paint on the floor, and in the middle of the figure stood black candles. As soon as this image greeted my eyes, I felt a shiver travel from my toes to my nape. I looked at Kookie, and without even having to say a word, we started to walk away from the stall. Apparently, a mall security guard saw us because he approached us and said, "Ma'am, ano po ang hinahanap nyo jan?" Kookie then asked why the stall was evacuated, and the security guard said, "Nagka-problema po sila, kaya wala na." While saying this, he gave us a look as if to say, yes, you are probably thinking what I am thinking and you are probably right.

A few minutes later, while Kookie and I were waiting for our food to be served at a nearby restaurant, I told her that the whole thing creeped me out. She said that the pentacle and black candles are usually used to drive out evil spirits, and that something probably happened there which made them have to perform that ritual. She knew that the owner was into Wicca as well, and did not have any qualms about giving tutorials about Wiccan rituals. Something must have happened inside that stall that attracted evil spirits, and they had to drive them away.

I am normally oblivious to supernatural stuff, and that was definitely one of the creepiest sights I have ever seen.

Lunch Biatch

2004-11-28T19:10:00.000+08:00

While on field training, I was assigned to observe a senior member of my team for a whole day. I've heard people say things about him being a condescending know-it-all, which didn't exactly make me look forward to that day, but what the hell. I figured that nothing could go wrong as long as I kept everything professional. He was two hours late, and he was no Casanova, but the morning went reasonably well. We kept our conversations purely businesslike, and I tried to make the most out of the day by learning as much from him as I could about the job. This isnt so bad, I thought. I can take this. That is, until lunch came and he tried to make small talk with me.

"Do you like to watch movies?'
"Yup."
"So what kind of movies do you like to watch?"
"Anything, actually, as long as it isn't Steven Segal-type action or sci-fi."
"I bet your favorite type of movies are girly romance movies."
"What makes you say that?"
"Well, you're a girl, aren't you?"

Not wanting to be labeled as the bitchy new girl, I just tried to force a smile even if I almost choked on my lunch. I told myself to calm down and discreetly changed the topic.

"So, are you into sports?" (Thinking that talking about sports would show him that I wasn't a typical girly-girl.)
"Yup. I play basketball. What sport do YOU play?"
"Badminton."
"Oh, badminton. The fag sport."
"Come again?"
"Well, it's no challenge. Tennis pa siguro, pero badminton? I won't even break a sweat."

I could almost swear you could see the fumes coming out of my nostrils.

"Then let's play sometime. Let's see if you don't die from exhaustion after I'm done with you."

I am not normally arrogant, and I will be the first to admit that although I am a decent opponent, I am not the best player around. At that exact moment though, I wanted to shove my racket down his throat.

We live in a liberal society, where women are no longer judged by the wealth of her husband or her ability to cook a meal. Women are now free to pursue careers of their choice and are no longer confined to the dictates of society. I am very grateful to have been born into this generation, where voting is a right and not a privilege, where women are given enough esteem to be trusted with some of the most powerful positions in business and government, and where a woman is no longer off-limits to the concept of having ambition.

There are times, though, when I experience moments like this, that seem to be taken directly from the dark ages. I am not a hardcore feminist who hates men and want to wipe them off the face of the earth, but there are moments when I almost wish that I live in an all-female world... or at least makes me wish that I were a lesbian.

Conversations by the Water Fountain

2004-11-16T18:20:00.000+08:00

"Are you lonely?"

This question was posed by a friend during one of those 'just-after-lunch-I-am-so-sleepy-wish-it-were-5:30-already' moments. Having grown accustomed to being surrounded by a semi-boistrous herd of all our other friends, the sincerity of the question and the tranquility of the moment took me by surprise.

"No," came my automatic answer, while my mind reeled, thinking hard whether or not it was entirely true.

"I am."

The look of raw emotion on her face struck me. It took a few seconds before the conversation sank in. Was I lonely? No. At least, I didn't think so.

I haven't been with someone in a while. Although I do date, my last relationship has been a while back. I admit that I miss being one half of a couple, but I would much rather be single than settle for a guy who isn't compatible with me. I would choose to spend a night at home over going on a horrible date.

I miss liking someone. I miss the kilig feeling of spending time with someone you really like. I miss having someone take care of me. Is there a shortage of likable guys in the world?

Oh well.

Cigarette Butts and Peanut Shells

2004-11-15T15:36:00.000+08:00

Kookie was here last night, and due to boredome (and something else), we decided to meet up with a doctor friend of mine at Robinson's Place (Manila). We shrieked at the thought of going to Rob, because it was less than a block away from where we went to college, and we knew that walking around the place was going to bring back all sorts of memories.

The three of us ended having coffee, dinner, a night stroll around Malate and drinks at our former favorite bar. It amused me that both Kookie and my doctor friend acted like old friends by the end of the night, although they only met a few hours before. It wasn't hard to do, since we came from a small campus (well, relative to our Diliman counterparts), and we new a lot of the same people.

Malate used to be an after-chorale-practice necessity, and we would be found there almost every night, getting hammered. I was a bit emotional when I saw bar after bar, each possessing a memory that made those years the best (and worst) of my life. It amused me to remember that on a certain Remedios Circle bench, a friend came out of the closet. I smiled to myself when I passed by an old coffee shop where we would go after a night of serious drinking to sober up before going home. I laughed when I saw the stand-up comedy bar when we would usually go when we wanted to be amused. Numerous heart to heart talks, college parties and old friends flooded my mind. It was one big emotional rollercoaster ride, which we three were happy to flush down with a couple of bottles of beer after.

Walking around Malate made me both miss the past and thank God that I have moved on. Reliving the past is always nice, but I wouldn't want to re-live it. I am happy that I have gone through what I have gone through, gotten to where I am, and kept the wonderful friends that I have. Growing up was inevitable, thank God.

On Patience

2004-11-11T18:24:00.000+08:00

When meeting new people, you tend to put your best foot forward. Most of the time, strangers are the people who get the best version of your personality. When it comes to the people you are closest to though, is it ok to lose sense of social decency? When does "close" become "too close for comfort"?

They say familiarity breeds contempt. Unconditional patience and love is the hardest thing to give.

Musings on Death

2004-10-30T22:21:00.001+08:00

Death is something that has eluded me for the longest time. After all, aside from my paternal grandfather who passed away back when I was too young to even remember, we have had zero deaths in the family. We have always been mere guests at the wakes and funerals we have attended.

That is, until May of this year.

My father passed away just last May. It feels wierd writing it down for the first time... it's like finally accepting it after five months. In some ways, it seems like only yesterday when I was writing down my eulogy for him, and in other ways, it all feels like a very distant, hazy memory. It is actually refreshing to even think about it without bursting into tears and having the usual heavy feeling at the pit of my stomach.

***

About two weeks ago during our training, we had someone talk about death, or more specifically, near-death experiences. Its significance to the whole training program, I am still trying to figure out, but that particular session hit me hard. The speaker mentioned that just before death, all pain is lifted from the body, and that they seem to float inside a tunnel towards a white light. Some souls choose to go back, but some just keep on going into the light. I am not exactly superstitious, and the entire near-death experience concept is actually crap to me, but that particular piece of information was somewhat comforting. One thing that has haunted me about my father's death is the thought of how much he must have suffered before going flatlined, and all of this happening without me there to even just hold his hand.

***

This is the first All Soul's Day that we actually have dead family to go visit, and his gravesite is at the other end of the archipelago. While everyone else will be hung-over and having post Holloween party headaches, I will be spending it with what is left of my family.

I miss him, but I am happy that he is in a much better place. God bless his soul.

Glory Days

2004-10-25T19:21:00.000+08:00

My officemates and I spent practically the whole afternoon taking a trip down memory lane, reminiscing about the time when our lives revolved around breakfast and TV. If you were a kid in the 80's, these photos would definitely strike a chord.

Our jaws hurt so much from laughing. Needless to say, we had a very unproductive afternoon.

Walking Marathon

2004-10-16T01:01:00.000+08:00

Four-inch pointed boots + Payday Sale at Megamall + Rush Hour = Exhausted Feet.

Thank god for girlfriends who share in your pain. That and Ben-Gay.

Training Purgatory

2004-10-15T23:39:00.000+08:00

I don't particularly like trainings. Just the thought of being stuck in a classroom for days and days, being at the mercy of a trainor and forced to get along with people you don't exactly know is not extremely appealing to me. Although I do appreciate diversity in personalities, there is something in this type of setting that somewhat irks me. I've gone through enough trainings to brace myself and more or less know what to expect...

1. There will always be a control freak who will appoint himself as the group's leader in every possible opportunity. He will have no qualms whatsoever about bossing people around, and should anyone question his divine proclamation, be prepared to justify your existence in this world. Of course, I am exaggerating, but I know you get my point.

2. Person #1 will always have a groupie. This person will never question anything he says, and will always be spotted at a maximum of a 2-meter radius from his master, usually just nodding all the time.

3. There will always be an attention-deprived "nuisance participant" who will crack the lamest jokes even at the most inappopriate times. Although this person is indeed witty and may usually be the source of creative output, getting the group into trouble is second nature to him as a result of his motor mouth. Acceptance and approval is a main concern, and he may take it personally when he sees that you aren't amused anymore. His groupie is optional.

4. No matter how good your trainor is, there will always be a person who will not get it.

Of course, what makes this all worthwhile (aside from the additional bullet point in your resume) are the few great people you make friends with along the way. True, you will have to harmoniously co-exist with such people your whole life, and there is no escaping them. Ultimately, what I think is important is keeping the friends you have, and doing the best job you can.

Besides, only a week to go before I'm done with training, so I'll suck it up until then.

Shaken

2004-10-08T22:44:00.000+08:00

Here I am, home alone, sitting in front of my PC.

Suddenly, I feel the ground moving beneath me.

Earthquake!

My body is immobile. My feet are rooted to the ground and unable to move. I hold my breath, praying hard that I don't have to dash downstairs in my sleepwear.

And just as quickly as it started, it stops.

As my brain springs back to lucidity, I wonder, "what the hell was I going to write about again?"

Birth of a New Blog

2004-10-06T09:43:00.000+08:00

Let us all welcome my sister to the blogging world! :)

Review: The Da Vinci Code (a novel by Dan Brown)

2004-10-05T17:30:00.000+08:00

To say that The Da Vinci Code is a "good book" is like saying that Einstein was a "pretty smart guy"... it is a horrendous understatement. If I were to be overly dramatic about it, I would call it a spine-tingling, hair-raising, brings-you-to-the-edge-of-your-seat kind of book, which will electrify all your senses.

This ingenious novel is about two strangers who find themselves brought together by a mysterious death inside the Louvre Museum in Paris. They end up in a dangerous game of cat and mouse, all the while trying to decipher clues, riddles and codes left behind by the murdered museum curator, which they believe will lead them to one of the most well-guarded and controversial historical secrets of all time. The web of symbology, art and history traps them, as the chase brings them from Paris to London, both desperately seeking long-awaited answers to lifelong questions.

What I enjoyed about this book was the pace of how the events unfolded. There are no dull moments in the whole story line, and you will find yourself lost in the pages while the heroes jump from scene to scene, dilema to dilema, discovery to discovery. The author's vast knowledge about the arts, history and symbols is fascinating, and at times, it will make you wonder about your own beliefs. I admit that had I read this book during the time when I wasn't secure and stable about my own faith, I would have been agnostic by now... but hey, that's just me.

All in all, The Da Vinci Code is my new favorite read, and I would give it a grade of 200%. Hats off to Dan Brown!

Note: If you have read the book, I recommend you visit Dan Brown's official website for more information on the artwork, history and concepts.

Zodiac Brainwashing

2004-10-01T14:51:00.000+08:00

I remember back in high school, when my sister brought home a copy of Linda Goodman's Sun Signs for the first time. Linda Goodman is a well-known American astrologer, and her book Sun Signs deals with how the position of the heavenly bodies during the time of your birth have an effect and influence on your personality... in other words, this is the book version of your daily newspaper zodiac reading.

The first time I read my sign's description, I couldn't believe my eyes. This is SO me! Sentimental. Social. Born to lead. May be egotistical at times. It was like reading a copy of... me.

If this is an accurate description of what I am, then maybe this book is the key to understanding other people's personalities too! For years, this was my bible, always checking the signs of people I meet. I then found out why my Virgo friends are all perfectionists, and that Sagittarians are more often than not clumsy. Cancers are very crabby, people born under the sign of Aries tend to be very blunt, and that my most ideal love match would be a Libra. If someone interested or annoyed me, I would find out what his sign is and whip out Linda Goodman. It was like having a secret weapon... the satisfaction of knowing something others didn't.

A few years back, when I started my previous job, I met a very interesting fellow. What intrigued me the most about him was that we had the same sign, but we were somewhat opposites. I was the "typical" Leo... outgoing, very social, opinionated. He was the type who aften kept to himself, and was not flashy at all. He was soft-spoken, didn't like to go out and did not seem to relish in attention (not that I do. Haha.). Once more, I consulted Linda Goodman. Voila! There it was. There are two types of Leos; the extrovert and the introvert. They seem like total opposites, but they have one thing in common: pride. She was right again! Damn, she was good.

I wanted to show this book to my friend, so I brought it to work one day. When I showed it to him, he said, "Galeng ha, but you know what, I try not to read books like those. Kase they tend to box you up, and unconsciously, you start following what is written in the book." That was a very interesting point. I looked at the people who I knew were into the book as much as, and even more than I was... they were text book definitions of their signs, almost too perfectly fitting the description written in the book. Sometimes, they even made this an excuse for being the way they are... "You know naman I'm very emotional eh, kaya I will always react that way!" It was like having permission to act rudely, since your sign says that you are "very emotional" or "highly opinionated" by nature, and people should understand that. It was like a truism and it was unbreakable.

It got me thinking... how do you draw the line between being who you are and letting a zodiac sign define your being?

I stopped reading this book almost a year ago. Thinking about it right now amuses me, because I don't even totally remember what I am supposed to be according to Miss Goodman. It is very liberating, actually, considering the fact that I no longer stop myself from doing, saying or even thinking something that is presumed to be un-leo-like. Besides, I don't want people to be able to read about my sign in one chapter of a book and already know me inside-out. Where's the fun in that?

Nostalgia in SBC

2004-09-24T10:52:00.000+08:00

Kookie and I met up in Rockwell last night. After dinner, we decided to just walk around The Power Plant since we couldn't decide what to do. While walking along the stalls which were all closing down one by one, we saw some old college friends at the other side of the mall. After the usual hugs and beso-besos, we decided to settle down in Seattle's Best and chat away.

Funny stories of the night (names have been changed):

Ann: "Marie, saan tayo magmi-meet?"
Marie: "SBC nalang"
Ann: "Uh, ano yung 'SBC', 'StarBucks Coffee'?"

Mark (3 year old boy): "Mommy, ang sarap nitong Oreo!"
Ann: "Anak, Bingo yan."

On my way home, I kept smirking because of all the kwentos. Ann was notorious, especially back in college, for being clueless and sarcastic and funny all the time. It brought me back to our UPM days, when we would just hang out all afternoon at our tambayans, waiting for the sun to set and Malate to open. For a moment there, everything was back to what it used to be, only instead of our tambayan, we were in SBC, and instead of the usual faded jeans, t-shirts and sneakers, we were in suits, slacks, button-down shirts and high heels. So much has changed, and yet, so much hasn't, and it was completely nice.

Moon Hoax?

2004-09-16T18:15:00.000+08:00

Recently, I was able to catch an interesting documentary on Star World entitled Conspiracy Theory: Did We Really Land on the Moon? This show presented evidence that NASA's lunar explorations in the 70's were hoaxes, and that man did not really land on the moon. At first, I thought that this was just the work of a dillusional person wanting to throw of NASA's credibility, but the more I watched, the more sense it made. Let us take a look at some of the evidence presented...

1. Still shots of the lunar explorations showed signs of artificial lighting when closely examined. Since supposedly, the sun was the only source of light on the moon, it was very strange that shadows were cast in different angles and directions. If only one light source was present, the direction of the shadows should all have been parallel and should never intersect. Also, photos of astronauts were very clear down to the details of their space suits, even though they were shot against the light. This was a very clear sign of artificial lighting being used.

2. During the lunar explorations, specially designed cameras were mounted on the astonauts' chests to take still photographs of the moon. The person who designed this camera programmed it to show crosshairs on top of the photos for reference. Most of the images released by NASA to the public showed figures of astronauts or the lunar rover covering parts of the crosshairs. This, according to the investigators were clear signs of technical manipulation of the pictures.

3. Videos and photos taken during the lunar explorations from supposedly different days and different points of the moon showed the exact same backdrop when superimposed on each other.

4. There is no air on the moon because it's atmosphere is one big vacuum. This is the reason why it was odd that there was footage of the American flag waving on the moon.

It was said that the US staged all this in order to win the space race over Russia, who succeeded in launching Sputnik, the first sattelite, into outer space. Since according to the skeptics who formulated this hoax theory, travelling to the moon was impossible (after all, we are talking about technology in the 1970's), NASA decided to fake it.

When presented with the evidence, NASA just shrugged them off, saying that there were explanations for all of them, but did not bother to go into detail.

If this is all true, and NASA did indeed fake all the moon landings, there is no saying what else could have been faked from history... I was somewhat disturbed by the possibility. I can somewhat understand why pride is so important to the US, but this may be a little too far. Hmmm...

Of Fear

2004-09-14T22:46:00.000+08:00

"The things that we fear the most have already happened to us."

-Robin Willams in "One Hour Photo"

Beautify

2004-09-11T11:50:00.000+08:00

There is no sadder sight than a fashion victim. I would like to think that I am fairly fashionable, and that my make-up skills are above average. Although just like everyone else, I do love to experiment sometimes (who knew that hot pink pants would look great with a flirty black top?), for the most part, I like to keep it simple. In my continuing effort to keep the world a beautiful place, here are a few tips I have gathered as a result of everyday observations.

Tip #1
Elephant pants should be worn at a length that will cover your whole shoe, almost touching the floor. Buy them extra-long if you plan on wearing them with heels. Make sure that your entire shoe is covered, otherwise, you will look like you have two lampshades for feet.

Tip #2
Bright orange and black is not a fashion statement. It is a holloween costume.

Tip #3
If people can't tell where your cheek ends and your nose begins, you are probably wearing too much make-up.

Tip #4
There is no excuse for visibly unshaved armpits. Ever.

Tip #5
If you have a short neck, stay away from snug neck pieces (chokers, scarves around the neck, etc.), unless you'd like to look like you are being choked all day.

Tip #6
Never shave or pluck above your eyebrows. That is what defines your eyebrows' natural shape.

Tip #7
When powdering your face, powder your neck as well, unless you want to look like a mime.

Tip #8
Go easy on the blush. You want to have rosy cheeks, not the freshly-slapped look.

Tip #9
If you are planning to go monochromatic from head to toe, go ahead and use the wild bright colored printed bag.

Tip #10
A crisp white shirt and khaki bottoms is always a winning combination.

Tip #11
Go ahead and spend some extra money on make-up brushes. It is a lot smoother on the face, and it makes all the difference when applying make-up.

Tip #12
Unless you have sore eyes, do not wear shades indoors.

Tip #13
Make sure that your underwear doesn't peak out of your clothes. Thong underwear that are obviously worn to peep out of pants are so skanky.

Tip #14
If you are short-legged, low-waisted jeans aren't a good idea. And as much as possible, get them longer and wear them with heels.

Tip #15
Chunky earrings and a chunky neck piece should not be worn togeher. If you go heavy on the ears, keep the neck simple, and vice versa.

Ok, so you may or may not agree to me when it comes to these tips, and hey, some people can get away with these sometimes (except maybe for the unshaved armpits... heck, the French do it all the time). I believe, though, that the best fashion statement is attitude. Hold your head up high, and be comfortable with yourself. Here's to the world being our catwalk.

Prince Charming?

2004-09-07T11:55:00.000+08:00

My friend Iza and I were chatting through YM, and we were exchanging urls of some interesting blogs we have discovered. She told me to check out a certain site, and I almost fell off my seat. To all you single girls out there still searching for your prince charming, er, keep looking. In the meantime, check out this (semi-freaky) blog.

PMS... Watch Out for Passing Biatch

2004-09-01T03:22:00.000+08:00

I'd like to think that I am a reasonably level-headed person. I do not usually act at whim, and I as much as I could, I try to make decisions based on logic. There are times, though, when no matter how hard I try to be rational, the slightest things can cause me to blow my top off and lash out at the first unsuspecting available victim. Contrary to what most of our Martian friends may think, PMS can be maddening sometimes (yes, it is not just an excuse to be a biatch). The most trivial matters drive you nuts, and the slightest annoyance can ruin your whole day.

Annoyance #1
Pipol hu typ lyk dis onlyn. It is bad enough that people text like this. Fine, it is excusable since there are only a limited number of characters allowed in a text message, but online, there is a full keyboard and a whole blank page, for cryin out loud! Oh, and who doesn't get irked by the ever misplaced "me"? Late me. Sleeping me. Excited me. Aargh!

Annoyance #2
I hate it when people borrow things and never return them. It even comes to a point where you have to beg for your own things, and suddenly, you become the nagger.

Annoyance #3
I get annoyed when people always try to beat you to the punchline when you are telling a story. Some people I know don't even let you finish your story... they have to finish it for you. Fine, I get that you are smart enough to think of multiple ending options for my story, but will you please just friggin let me finish?

Annoyance #4
I hate it when sales people are rude. I do not expect a red carpet to be rolled out upon my arrival, but damn, I am here to provide your establishment some business, and you don't even give me a look.

Annoyance #5
I hate it when people throw jargon at you about stuff they know you don't understand. They might as well wear a shirt that says, "I am desperately trying to prove how smart I am. Is it working?" Please, quit it with the know-it-all act. Everyone sees right through it.

Annoyance #6
I hate people who are plastic... more so if they are proud of it.

Yes, all this can be maddening. I find myself wanting to pull my own hair and break every dish in the kitchen sometimes. But I know this will pass, with a little help from Blogger and my Earth Therapeutics Lavander and Chamomile Anti-Stress Pillow Mist (from Beauty Bar... I highly recommend it. Massage lotion also available in the same scent). Thank God this only happens once a month...

Glad I got that out of my system.

Offset

2004-08-26T03:14:00.000+08:00

I had a final meeting with the HR Head of the company I have been wanting to join (at last, my patience and picky-ness paid off), and they are finally giving me a job offer. As I was waiting for her in their training room, my eyes fell on a poster that hung on the wall. It was one of those motivational posters that almost every company has...

CONVICTION

Be certain your feet are planted in the right place before you decide to stand firm.

Ah... words of wisdom indeed. I knew a number of people who would benefit a great deal from that statement. It made me a little thoughtful for a while.

So anyway, I waited some more. After checking out my nails for the umpteenth time (I should have brought something to read...), I was getting impatient. I looked around the room and noticed a handwritten sign that was obviously previously posted on the door, in thick red ink, no less...

NDD

Do Not Disturb

A lightbulb moment ruined by a "duh" sign. Oh well, at least there was a balance.

Somewhere in Between

2004-08-20T00:53:00.000+08:00

I was looking for something in my room when I came across a box I hadn't opened in a while. Since I couldn't remember what I stored in there, I opened it and rummaged through its contents. In the middle of my old readings, musical pieces, notebooks and casette tapes, I was quite surprised at what I found...

My old journal.

I stared at it for a few seconds before I sat on the edge of my bed and opened the cover...

June 21, 1999

I immediately closed it again, not exactly sure why I wasn't ready to re-read the entries. As if in slow-motion, I opened it again, and I began to flip through the pages quickly, just glancing at words and words of what I had so emotionally written many years ago. They were so full of angst, hatred and occasional shallow happiness. An isolated case of the all-knowing, self-righteous, idealistically misled UP student. The timebomb waiting to explode. I was frozen in time for a moment, thoughts flooding my brain. I do not remember the careless, almost reckless girl who once sat down every night and religiously scribbled on that journal. It all seemed so ancient, like an almost-forgotten dream.

I would like to think that I am older and a bit wiser now, compared to her. Somewhere between then and now, life must have slapped me hard in the face and told me to wake up from my slumber. Somewhere in the middle of it all, I was rescued from drowning, and I was taught to swim to shore.

But is she really gone? The thought scared me.

As I set the old, battered journal aside and returned everything into the box. I paused for a second and buried it in my bottom-most drawer, under stacks and stacks of books and papers.

I guess that until I am not one hundred percent sure that I have reached the shore, I will be too afraid to look back.

It's Raining Men

2004-08-15T14:00:00.000+08:00

I am usually attracted to guys who are, as I like to call them, "mataba and maputi". There is something about guys who resemble polar bears that gets to me, and for some reason, lean and more muscular men do not usually make me look twice.

Yesterday afternoon though, while I was watching TV, a beautiful sight caught my attention... the Olympics was on, and the day's event was the swimming competition, men's division. Glorious bodies in skin-tight swimsuits, muscles flexing as they do the butterfly stroke, water dripping from their golden skin when they get out of the water. Ay caramba... I ended up entranced, watching this for an entire hour. God bless the 400 meter relay.

I can't wait for the men's diving competition.

Out of the Blue

2004-08-06T14:47:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, in order for it to be possible for people to help you, you need to step away and let them do their magic.

Red Red Wine

2004-08-03T19:32:00.000+08:00

I woke up Sunday morning with traces of waterproof mascara still on my eyelashes, my hair unattractively frizzy from going to bed straight after last night's bath, and a bad, BAD hangover. As I got up to get a glass of water, blurry images from the night before, as though captured by an out of focus video camera, kept entering my mind.

My Lolo's big 80th birthday party.

The long function hall filled with blue balloons and a sea of blue-clad family members.

My cousins and I getting together after the party for a night of drinking, laughing and family bonding.

The best sisig and chicharon bulaklak as only Pampanga can produce.

The band playing "Where is the Love?" to the crowded dancefloor.

Boxes and boxes of red wine.

As I sipped the cold water in my sister's kitchen, I silently cursed the seemingly innocent crimson liquid I so happily drank the night before. Later on, I found that the hangover would last until I went to bed that night... I have had shorter hangovers from drinking vodka and tequilla combined. Since my two sisters and my brother-in-law (who were more or less in the same state as I was) showed no signs of getting up in the next hour, I concluded that our 9am badminton game was good as cancelled, which was just as well. I was sure that none of the cousins were already up anyway. I felt my head spin again as I got up from the table to go back to bed.

Crazy night. I think I am going to be sober for a long , LONG time.

Stuck in Never Never Land (Part 2)

2004-07-27T00:42:00.000+08:00

It is so exhausting to deal with people who refuse to grow up, so I said in a previous blog.

Tantrums are for toddlers, or at the very most, adolescent pre-teens. When you are already in your 20's, bratty behavior is not only extremely annoying, it is tasteless and juvenile. As a young adult, it is mandatory for a person to at least learn how to pick up after himself, be conscious of every word that comes out of his mouth, and not expect the world to revolve around his mood swings.

Another aspect of growing up is knowing and practicing the golden rule: "Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you." So the next time you are pissed at someone for being an ass of a driver, make sure that you are not an ass of a driver yourself.

It is just a matter of being self-aware instead of being self-absorbed. Maturity, after all, is more than just the number of candles you blow out on your birthday cake.

Four Years Too Late

2004-07-24T02:29:00.000+08:00

Friendster has been hugely instrumental in helping me come across a lot of long lost people from my past. It is always a pleasant surprise to get a message from someone you once knew but lost touch with once upon a time when text or email was unheard of. It is always amusing to see, at least through pictures, how much these people have grown and changed over the years. This is definitely one of the most useful developments in technology lately, at least to me.

I recently discovered, though, that this isn't always a pleasant scenario.

A few days ago, I have gotten a message from a man from my past whom I hoped I would never have to cross paths with again. This person was responsible for a lot of questions I posed on my own confidence and being, as well as the cause for a number of impulsive, almost reckless actions I have made. Needless to say, having his face pop up on my screen was not a sight which I expected or wanted.

He apologized for being a "big jerk", and though he said that did not expect me to forgive him, he asked for forgiveness all the same. He left me his digits and asked me for my friendship once again.

Had I received a similar message from him four years ago, I would have called him without a second thought. Had I seen his face four years ago, the words "big jerk" would have been meaningless where he was concerned. Had he not hurt me the way he did four years ago, I would still forever be waiting for him to give me everything he had so loosely promised.

Some people are not worth giving second chances to, especially since technically, it would be their fourth chance. I am no longer a masochist who is all too willing to put herself on the line for the sake of something she mistakenly thinks of as love. It has been a long process, but I have learned to love and trust myself first and foremeost before any man.

As for Mr. self-admitted "big jerk", your apology is four years too late. Though nothing would satisfy me more than to see your face rub the ground, I still wish you a good life. I no longer have plans of being part of it, and please do not contact me again.

Freedom

2004-07-21T00:15:00.000+08:00

The Iraq hostage crisis our country has gone through the past couple of weeks was a very emotional issue for me. Angelo dela Cruz is a father of 8, and the thought of what his family must have gone through, not knowing whether they would still see him alive, bothered me somewhat.

I am no political analyst, and I do not care for Philippine politics at all. The nation was divided when GMA ordered the pull-out of our troops from Iraq in order to save dela Cruz's life, and as expected, she was not spared from the critical eye and harsh words of Filipinos across the world. Though many supported this, many raised eyebrows. For the president, it was a no-win situation. This decision will undoubtedly have repercussions on our economy, among other things, but regardless of the opinions of many others, I applaud GMA for her gutsy move. For once, a Filipino was not compromised in the attempt to fix a national crisis. For once, an innocent masa was prioritized before an international "ally". For once, the plight of Filipino OFWs all over the world was recognized with more than lip service.

A family somewhere in Pampanga will sleep soundly tonight. They may not care much about financial aid from the US or the war against terrorism, but the life of a loved one was spared, and that to them, is priceless.

Smitten

2004-07-17T23:40:00.000+08:00

I have known him for quite some time now, and I never even looked twice. Whenever I see him lately, though, I turn into a giggly school girl with a crush all over again. It's been a long time since I've actually even remotely liked someone, and the world DOES seem a bit rosier. It's nothing serious, but it's a pleasant change from all the espresso I've been tasting lately.

Kids At Play

2004-07-14T12:30:00.000+08:00

My nephew Pablo got a visit from his cousin Euna. It's so refreshing to see two kids at play. It makes you forget about everything else, and for a moment, it transports you back to the time when nothing was of consequence.

I can't wait to visit them this weekend! :)

Alfred Horrors

2004-07-13T12:44:00.000+08:00

Last night, I was on my couch in my room, resting my tired calves from the intense badminton game earlier that evening while I watched Oprah. As they talked about the alarmingly incresing number of suburban teenage girls entering prostitution, I heard a faint scratching sound from the corner of my room. I peered over my dresser which partially blocked my view. Suddenly, Alfred appeared from behind my pretty green storage box and scurried out of my room, passing through the small space between my door and the floor. The sight was enough to send chills down my spine. I am very territorial about my room, and the idea of sharing it with a rodent is utterly horrifying. I placed a sheet of flypaper by the door and dropped a small cookie chunk in on it. After a few minutes, Alfred was walking over the flypaper trying to grab the cookie. I couldn't believe my eyes, it knew how to avoid the sticky surface! As soon as it got hold of his prize, though, he started to flee, but it's tail got stuck. I guess it realized that it wasn't a good thing, because it dropped the cookie and started making sqeaky noises. Yesss! I finally caught the damn thing. But my celebration was very short-lived. Yes, I trapped the sucker, but I had no idea how to throw it out. Ew. Just the though made me shiver again. I paniced when I saw it trying to wriggle its tail free. My sister heard me scream, so she peered from inside her room. When she saw my predicament, she suggested that I trap it with an upside-down bucket, so I did. Good idea. At this point, the mouse was able to Wriggle free from the fly paper, but it was still trapped inside the bucket. Great. Now I really didn't know what to do. I put on some decent clothes and went downstairs. I called the building maintenence boy and asked him to do something about it. To my horror, brought a kind of cement tool with which to kill it. The picture of rodent blood on our floor made me suddenly queasy. Luckily, he resorted to transferring it to a garbage bag and brought it downstairs. Whether or not Alfred still lives at this moment, I do not care to find out.

As I disinfected the spot where the bucket served as Alfred's prison with Lysol, I looked back at my Jessica Simpson moment and vowed to

1) always make sure there is fly paper lying around the condo,
2) treat the maintenance people well all the time, lest another incident like this happens, and
3) disinfect, disinfect, and disinfect.

*Note: "Alfred" was a term coined in college, when we had a rodent problem in our dorm. They say that mice know when they are being talked about, hence the baptism.

Birthday Truce

2004-07-13T00:29:00.000+08:00

It's my sister's birthday today (yesterday actually, since it's already past midnight). We had dinner out, then played badminton with friends. It was great to spend a non-catty evening together. In spite of us fighting all the time, she is still my bestfriend, and there is hardly anything about me that she doesn't know.

We both have our own issues to deal with, some of them so deep-rooted, that it will take a lot of time to mend. I am very thankful for nights like this. At a time when spending time with family is no longer an everyday luxury, occassions like this are gold. My sisters mean the world to me, and nothing is worth more.

Stuck in Never Never Land

2004-07-08T12:40:00.000+08:00

My philosophy is that we are only liscenced to make a certain mistake once or twice before we have to succumb to learning the lesson. Beyond that, it is either some people enjoy having their faces touch the asphalt, or they are plain uncapable of taking responsibility for their actions.

It is so depressing to be around people who never grow up.

My Big Fat Capampangan Weekend

2004-07-06T00:39:00.000+08:00

My sister and I went to Pampanga this weekend to visit our other sister, our oh-so-cute-but-oh-so-pilyo nephew and the rest of our relatives. Athough we lived there a good part of our lives, and we still make it a point to make the trip every so often, there are some things that still surprise us everytime we do stay over. Most of the time, we just laugh, cringe, or we are just plain dumbfounded at how strange our family can get.

My grandmother, who is a little over 80, is getting really forgetful. My sister who lives there now told us about the time our grandmother literally called her about six or seven times at fifteen minute intervals to ask her the same question. I can imagine how maddening that is. Everytime we go there, she asks my other sister and I where we live and who cooks for us.

It is difficult for our relatives there to grasp the concept of two young women living alone in a condo with no parents (grandparents, titos, titas, pamangkins, maids...). The most frequently asked question is, "Paano kayo kumakain? Sino'ng nagluluto?" and "Naglilinis ba kayo?"

My tita who lives with my grandparents is four months pregnant. Although her belly is getting more and more noticable everytime we see her, the grandparents don't know yet. When we asked her why she hasn't said anything, she said, "Di pa naman nila tinatanong eh." I guess they'll find out when she gives birth.

My other tita told my sister who is in pre-med, "Alam mo, mag-nurse ka nalang, tapos mag-States ka." My sister actually almost lost her temper then. My cousin, who knows I am jobhunting right now, told me, "Ayaw mo'ng mag-med rep? Ok ang benefits nun!" No offense to the nurses and the med reps out there, but... um... ok, let's say it again. No offense to the nurses and med reps out there. Period.

Meals are served like clockwork there. I have the impression that people live to eat and do everything else on the side. It is a crime not to eat breakfast at 8, lunch at 12, and dinner at 7. Literally, before each meal, my lolo gives a roll call and screams at everyone to get our asses to the table and eat. This is usually when my grandmother asks us her usual line of questions and repeats them around 3 or 4 times during the entire course of the meal. Most of the time, my tito and tita answer for us, since they already know that my sister goes grocery shopping once a week, we have our laundry picked up and delivered, and that I usually clean the place.

It can make me want to pull every strand of hair out of my scalp sometimes, but wierd as they are, they are still family and we love them to bits. I guess that we are the wierd ones in their eyes. In spite of all this, having a place like this to come home to is still one of the things we have that makes us very grateful. Nothing beats entering a room filled with relatives whom you know will take care of you no matter what. God bless their souls.

By the way, this is only the mother's side. The paternal relatives are a whole different story.

Noooooo!

2004-06-30T22:18:00.000+08:00

Back in college, my friends and I had what we called The End of the World Theory. It stated that at some point, every man will realize that he is gay and will come out of the closet. Reproduction will cease, thus, the end of world will come.

Kyan Douglas of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy is an painful reminder of that theory. It is unfair how gorgeous men like him are gay. It is almost criminal.

Rhapsody on a Theme by Paganini

2004-06-29T22:14:00.000+08:00

For some reason, Rachmaninoff always transports me back to college.

For a moment, I am back in AS, walking down the halls. Instinctively, as I reach the lobby pillars, I take a left, outside the glass doors to my tambayan. Seven faces, three coke bottles, one guitar and a deck of cards greet me. An hour later, my first class of the day starts. Six hours later, I head towards The Coffee Beanery. More faces. Another chair is added to the already full table. I get a familiar hello from the waiter. I do not even look at the menu. The day is far from over. Night falls as we head towards the other end of campus. As we make our way through the dark, unpaved walk, adrenalin is high. In the almost secluded SSWC, we begin.

Our music echoes through the night. Little else is heard. Nothing else mattered.

Hollow

2004-06-28T13:55:00.000+08:00

I woke up this morning feeling empty. Tears began to fall down my cheeks.

I miss watching the the sunset with him, talking as the night fell. We would always end up in heated discussions about everything, and in the end, we would just agree to disagree. We have gone through so much, but no matter what happened, I knew I was safe in his presence. He would always ask me to sing his favorite song, and for a moment, I knew that for one person, no one sounded sweeter. No matter what people said, I was proud of him. He was the reason why I wanted to make something of myself. To say I loved him would be a ridiculous understatement.

I have been through denial, shock and anger. All that is left is deep sorrow. I have stopped blaming everyone, myself included. This is not the end, and I will get through this.

Father and daughter movies will never look the same to me again.

Hahaha!

2004-06-25T12:40:00.000+08:00

"Colin Farell has a new movie. He plays a bi-sexual Alexander the Great. Half of the time, he is 'Alexander the Great'. The rest of the time, he is 'Alexander the Fabulous'."

-Jay Leno on "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno"

Emotionless

2004-06-24T10:51:00.000+08:00

I was home alone last night, and I was planning to spend a quiet evening in my room, in front of the TV. As I settled on my couch, I saw that "Sleepless in Seattle" was on HBO. Perfect. I am such a sucker for sappy movies. I put on a cooling mask on my face to relax. Everything was set then. A quiet evening, a romantic comedy, a beauty ritual and a bottle of water beside me. Aaaahhhh... this is the life.

I was so into the movie, that towards the end, I was on the verge of tears. There was only one problem, though. I couldn't cry. On that note, I couldn't smile either. By that time, the mask on my face had hardened, and it was impossible to show any emotion whatsoever, not to mention that the front of my shirt was a little wet because when I tried to drink water from the bottle, I couldn't open my mouth properly.

Maybe next time, my beauty ritual should be hair-related.

Bottoms Up

2004-06-23T21:37:00.000+08:00

I'm not so sure about the "brillance" part, but the "anger" sure sounds like me.

How to make a tinamaldita

Ingredients:

5 parts anger

5 parts brilliance

3 parts leadership

Method:
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add lovability to taste! Do not overindulge!

Personality cocktail
From Go-Quiz.com

Badminton Addict

2004-06-23T21:04:00.000+08:00

We met some new people today at the badminton court. When our time was up and we were about to leave, a guy came up to us and said that he and his friend needed two more players, and if we were interested, we could come and join them. Erik and I, being the badminton addicts that we are, idulged them. How good can they be? They were middle aged after all, I told myself. Did I want to bite myself after that. Not only were they really good, we were already exhausted having played for two hours already. We found ourselves panting and running around our side of the court like maniacs. I couldn't see straight anymore, and my sense of badminton logic had been stripped off me. After three very long and very tiring sets, Erik and I won by a close call. I wasn't even sure we won until the other pair congratulated us. But damn, they were good. I guess we were lucky tonight.

The moral of the story? There is none. It's just nice to meet new people. Oh, and don't judge a book by its cover (harhar). I have to go catch my breath now.

Little Miracles

2004-06-23T10:19:00.000+08:00

More often than not, the greatest signs of true friendship are the simplest gestures... remembering that you really wanted a piggy bank for your room while she was shopping, picking out the peppers from your dish because he knew that you weren't a fan of spicy food, giving your blog an overhaul because you are technologically challenged... not the most grandiose of actions, but moments like these make me a whole lot less cynical.

I have made many, many friends over the years, but few of them have truly touched me. Little do they know that those small gestures are what keep me going. Somehow, the biggest ordeals aren't so devastating because they are around.

Never underestimate the power of your actions. They may mean the world to some people.

Deafening Silence

2004-06-19T03:17:00.000+08:00

Spending time alone can do you wonders on some occassions, but can actually drive you insane in others. At times, I am grateful for the serenity, for the opportunity to reflect on my life. There are times though, that the silence can be deafening, and that I would much rather subject myself to activities that require all bodily functions except my brain. Indeed, that would be so much easier than to face every single nagging thought that enters my mind. Maybe I am just a coward, more often than not afraid of having to reconcile where I am and where I want to be. Still, I have no doubt that this is a phase. Slowly, my life will go back to normal, and I will take it from there.

Cosmo's Sexiest Model

2004-06-18T14:14:00.000+08:00

She has come a long way from being crowned "Prom Queen" back in high school. Since then, her modelling career has soared. A small town girl who dared to dream big has inspired us all to work hard and end up making a difference.

Please click here and vote for FORTUNE SANTOS.

Melon Vodka and Chocolate Mousse

2004-06-16T14:24:00.000+08:00

What first planned out to be coffee at Rockwell turned into a vodka fest at a gas station beside Magallanes. A cousin of ours visited from Butuan, and since they took care of us when we were there, we took her our for what was originally planned as "coffee in Rockwell". We met her at her sister's condo in Makati bringing Chocolate Mousse from Becky's Kitchen, which we planned to take with us to Starbucks in Rockwell. Since it was around 11pm on a Tuesday night when we got there, there was pretty much nothing going on, so we decided to just go have a drink in Select Magallanes. By that time, the chocolate mousse resembled an ice cream cake because it tossed and turned in the box on the way. We bought every flavor available of vodka and spent the night with a sugar high, just drinking and laughing. I guess the stuff didn't settle too well at the pit of my stomach since I ended up feeling like crap the moment I got home.

But the melon vodka was worth it.

Not Exactly Feeling Like A Rose

2004-06-16T02:27:00.000+08:00

Vodka and chocolate mousse do not mix.

The Divisoria Experience

2004-06-14T23:44:00.000+08:00

My sister and I went to Divisoria last Thursday to buy stuff for my nephew's first birthday bash. Since the theme of the party is going to be "Kiddie Olympics", we immediately began looking for toy stalls as soon as we set foot inside the building. In no time, we were surrounded by hanging balls (haha.), plastic badminton rackets, miniature billards tables and a lot of people. It was unbelievable how cheap everything was (that was, after all, the reason we chose to shop there in the first place.). Divisoria is a shoppaholic's paradise. If you have the eye for quality and a few hundred bucks in your pocket, you will definitely be able to leave the place with a bag full of great buys.

In the midst of all the squeezing into tight places and haggling, there were a few Laugh Out Loud moments which cracked us up, especially during the ride home.

- Since the theme was sporty, we were looking for toys with balls as a design. We found a gun with a plastic soccer ball attached at the top. It looked interesting, and it definitely fit the theme so we picked it up. When we pulled the trigger, though, the ball spinned opened, revealing a small chinese statue inside. Oh, and while this happened, The Lambada played in the background. Can't imagine it? We can't imagine how this toy was thought of either.

- We found small plastic eggs being sold in one of the stalls. My sister picked it up, and when she opened it, we found a bubblegum-like paste inside. The next thing we knew, both our hands were covered in the sticky substance, and we had no idea how to get it off. The owner of the stall, a pleasant Chinese middle-aged man, apparently took pity on us and patiently showed us how to get the gunk off. We just had to dab our hands with the whole platic egg with the gunk inside. The sticky stuff eventually came off. We were so embarassed, and we ended up buying the darn plastic egg.

- We were looking for a new casing for my sister's phone (her cellphone is her son's favorite toy, and it isn't spared from the banging and drooling), and we found a very nice-looking color which looked really good on her phone. When we got home, our other sister pointed at the cardboard box from which the casing came. It read "MOKIA".

- We were thinking about what kind of candies to put inside the lootbags, since my sister wanted even the candies to have a sporty theme. We were looking inside a candy store when a jar on the topmost shelf caught my eye. Inside the jar were small candy balls wrapped in aluminum with numbers on them. I assumed they were small billard candy balls, and I had the helper climb up and retrieve it for me. After much effort on his part, we had the jar in our hands. We looked around for more candy, and when we were ready to pay for everything, my sister gave the candy jar a closer look. Upon inspection, we discovered that they weren't candy billards balls. They were candy lotto balls. No wonder there was a ball with the number 23.

- It must have been pretty obvious to everyone that we were shopping for a children's party, because as soon as we stepped out of the establishment with everything we had bought, a man came up to us out of nowhere, handed us a "calling card" made out of a cigarette carton cut-out, and said, "Ma'am, kailangan nyo po ng clown?." At first, we were bewildered. We later on realized that it was because I was holding a big plastic bag full of plastic balls, and my sister was carrying a bag full of candies in one hand and a pabitin in the other. Can't get any more obvious than that.

Divisoria is a whole new world. I had fun shopping there, but I can't imagine how people regularly go there. That place is insane! Oh well, my sister and I are planning to go back sometime October to shop for clothes. Wonder what moments we will go through then.

Sentimental

2004-06-14T13:59:00.000+08:00

Where Does the Time Go?
Julia Fordham

If I could have a pound for every moment I've spent worrying
On all the little things in life that frankly there's no hurrying
Then I would be a rich girl I wanna be a rich girl soon
But going at this rate I think that it might take
Till there's life on the moon...

Where does the time go? Does anyone know?
Where does the time go? Does anyone know?
Where does the time go? Does anyone know?

If I could have a sneak preview to all the earthly reasons
It takes to make the theme of time then I'd be a girl for all seasons
And I wouldn't have to worry I wouldn't have to worry oh no no no
It just seems kind of funny that there's some things I'll just never
Know

Like where does the time go? Does anyone know?
Where does the time go? Does anyone know?
Where does the time go? Does anyone know?

We were only just saying just the other day
How it's really amazing how the days just seem to slip away
And it's right before my very own eyes
Oh there's some things that we'll never, we'll never know, like

Where does the time go?
Where does the time go? Does anyone know?
Tell me where does the time go?
Tell me where does it go?
There's some things we'll never know

If I could have a pound for every moment I've spent worrying
On all the little things in life that frankly there's no hurrying
Then I would be a rich girl and I wanna be a rich girl soon
But going at this rate I think that it might take
Till there's life on the moon...

Oh where does the time go? Does anyone know?
Oh where does the time go? Does anyone know?
Oh tell me where does the time go?

Where does the time go?

I've been counting all my days, I've been counting all my nights
Tell me where does it go?
Where, where, where, where, where does it go?
The time go, the time go, the time go
Where, where, where, where does it go?

Does anyone know?

I've been counting all my days, I've been counting all my nights
Till I can be with you

Julia Foprdham and memories from the time I call college always puts me in a very sentimental mood.

Say What?

2004-06-13T13:20:00.000+08:00

The sad thing is, these quotes were actually said...

1. Teacher: "When was the last time you were grounded?"
Student: "Kase, binuksan ko yung ref, tapos basa yung kamay ko..."

2. "This is the first time I am with three prettiest in one room."

3. A customer was standing in line at an italian fast food. He called for the food attendant's attention while pointing at the stuffed pizza.
Customer: "Miss, ano'ng filling?"
Attendant: "Ah, ok lang ako."

4. "It controils ole."

5. A guy was trying to impress his date by pretending to be into golf as well.
Girl: "What's your handicap?"
Guy (a bit flustered): "My right eye can't see."

6. Call center interview.
Interviewer: "What is your pet peeve?"
Applicant (With hand "swimming" gesture): "Hehe. Oscar, my pis."

7. "Yung favorite movie ko, yung 'Love Story', starring Warren Beauty."

8. Beauty Pageant host: "And the 'Best in Friendly' goes to..."

9. Question and answer portion at a provincial beauty pageant.
Judge: "What do you think is the greatest weapon of women against men?"
Contestant: "Prayer."

10.Talk show featuring local beauty queens.
Host: "What do you think is your greatest achievement?"
Beauty Queen: "My family."

Suddenly, I'm dizzy.

Cringe

2004-06-12T18:35:00.000+08:00

Someone I know is annoying the hell out of me. He is presently one of the most insensitive and tactless people I know. It's not like he purposely says things that rub me the wrong way... at least I think he doesn't... but when he does, it gives me a feeling not unlike indigestion. Maybe I am just a wee bit sensitive, considering recent events, but lately, when I do get to talk to him, I find myself cringing and wanting to pull my hair out of my scalp.

Oh well, the guy is my friend, and I will have to get over this feeling soon. He's a good person, blessed with a different method of showing that he cares. In the meantime, I will stay out of his path, lest I end up bestowing someone bodily harm.

Pablo

2004-06-10T08:35:00.000+08:00

I spoke with my nephew on the phone last night. Aside from "Ma-ma" and "Pa-pa" and "Da-da", he can now say "Paaaah-bohh". That absolutely made my night. I just wish they lived nearer so I could see him anytime I want. He has an attitude like a haciendero with a horde of workers, a head shaved like an inmate, and a belly that resembles a middle-aged man who is addicted to beer... I am absolutely crazy about the kid. I find myself missing him the very moment I leave him. It makes me want to spoil him rotten when I am around. I know it's not the best idea, so I have to restrain myself.

Cho Chang

2004-06-10T08:04:00.000+08:00

News flash...

Allegendly, the role of Cho Chang has been casted, and they have chosen this girl to play the part:

Cho Chang

Rumor has it that Heart Evangelista tried out for the part... thank god the dimwit didn't get it.

Wicked

2004-06-09T09:46:00.000+08:00

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban disappointed me a little. Although I am a huge fan, and I would go see it again in a heartbeat, it wasn't the best installment of the movie. I guess this is due to the fact that the new director, Alfonso Cuaron, isn't exactly a Harry Potter fanatic. During one of his interviews, he admitted that he hadn't even read the books. How is that good marketing?

It's not that I hated the movie. Like I said, I am such a huge Harry Potter fan, that it doesn't really matter. The book was indeed darker (the cinematography literally was), and the characters were more mature this time around. What the hey, Daniel Radcliffe is looking hotter and hotter every time. Besides, they are currently filming The Goblet of Fire, and they have a new British director on board. At least that's something to look forward to.

Borderless World

2004-06-07T12:46:00.000+08:00

I was channel surfing last night, when I came across Cito Beltran's program "Straight Talk" on ANC. His guest was a very well-spoken, pretty young lady. Although I had no idea who she was, I was mesmerized by the way she spoke. She was so eloquent and interesting, and it made it very difficult to flip to another channel. After about 10 minutes, I realized that this girl was Patricia Evangelista, the UP sophomore who bested over 60 contestants from over 35 nations in a Public Speaking competition held in the UK. I have received the transcript of her winning speech numerous times through email, and even then, I was very impressed by how well she wrote.

It was when she was asked to give her speech on air, when she captured my emotions. Maybe I am just a nerd with nothing better to do but watch a talk show on ANC, but there was something about her, the way she gave her speech, and the way she was obviously passionate about what she had to say that grabbed me. Maybe it was the fact that I knew exactly what she meant, because my own family is going through the very same thing she was talking about; family pictures getting emptier and emptier each year. My own mother has decided to leave in order to work in the US. Most of my relatives are already there. I guess every single Filipino has a tito or tita in the US, or somewhere oversees.

In my opinion, the beauty of this piece is that it did not condemn Filipinos for wanting to search for greener pastures elsewhere. It was not a self-righteous and preachy speech, attempting to change the system. It merely painted a picture of what is really happening, showing us that no one is really spared from this. It gave me a whole new perspective on this occurrence. Who knows, if things don't look up for the country in a few years, I just might start thinking about leaving for a while. It does make more sense.

Blog Savior

2004-06-06T21:33:00.000+08:00

Kookie is a Blog Savior, if there is such a thing. I hadn't realized how utterly pathetic my previous template looked like until she came over and fixed it. How she did it (much less figure out how to do it herself) amazed me.

But then, I'm just a technological ditz.

Closure

2004-06-06T21:03:00.000+08:00

Butuan was the perfect place to go to at a time of grief. Aside from the family being the most amazing support group one can ever have, it helped a lot that it provided much-needed comic relief when it most counted. I felt like I was living in a "big fat greek world." That place is a sanctuary for me. Not being able to go there as often as I want to makes me appreciate it even more whenever I do get to visit. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Immediately after my father was laid to rest, we all felt like a huge weight was lifted off our shoulders, and it made smiling a whole lot easier. Life can now go on. God bless his soul.

Numb

2004-05-31T12:16:00.000+08:00

I have temporarily lost the ability to feel. I have seen countless people go through the same thing, but nothing prepared me for this moment. It was all so sudden. I have gone past disbelief, shock, anger, pain, and sorrow. I have lost him, and I feel as though nothing was left of me.

I am almost afraid to go back to Butuan. I am terrified at the thought of stepping into his room, where we have spent countless nights talking about the God, speculating about what He has planned for the family. We would watch the sunset on the porch every night, and we would talk some more. We have lived with no one but each other for three months, but we never got tired of being with each other. We never ran out of things to talk about, and even in silence, I would feel warm and safe in his presence.

It will take a lot of time before my life goes back to normal. The best I can hope for is for me to be numb through it all.

Four-Letter Words

2004-05-29T04:19:00.000+08:00

It's been a long time since I've gone out dancing. Although I have long graduated from my college party animal days, doing this once in a while can still definitely be fun. What started out as a senseless, almost reckless drinking spree ended on a thoughtful note as we talked about love; idealisms, realities and ironies. I guess the bottomline is that you cannot choose whom you fall in love with, but there is only so much you can compromise to make a relationship work. There is fine line between being with someone who can make you whole, and being with someone who strips you of your sense of being, so much so that you actually lose yourself in the process.

Love. One of the many four-letter words that are so complicated. I guess if it weren't, there wouldn't be half as many reasons to go out drinking in the first place.

Being Happy

2004-05-28T11:07:00.000+08:00

Someone I know is living a life she has always wanted. Her husband was never there for her, and their marriage finally ended in an ugly twist. She is now living with a man who seems picture perfect, at least for the time being. She is still getting used to coming home to a man waiting for her with dinner on the table with a glass of wine instead of an empty bed and a trashy romance novel on the nightstand. The only problem is that, for some twisted reason, she has trouble accepting the happiness and contentment of her new life for fear of the disaproval of the people around her.

How do you reassure a person that it is ok to be happy, and that no one is condemning her for finally finding a good man? You can only try so much. The rest, she should figure out for herself.

P.S.
Rats. Just when I thought that I couldn't be in a worse mood, Heart Evangelista just HAS to appear on TV, the annoying little twit. What a way to start my day. Let's hope that the rest of it is better.

Signs

2004-05-27T01:52:00.000+08:00

I've been jobhunting for quite sometime now, and I will be the first to admit that I was already on the verge of desperation. After being miserable enough to quit my job of almost two years, I found myself rushing into a then-seemingly great opportunity, which only made me even more unhappy than before. Wow, that was a record. Seven weeks of pure hell. Normally, it takes me several months to reach my limit. All of my options fell off one by one, either due to my fickle-mindedness or lack of sleep (interviewers seem to sense when you've been up all night and it doesn't exactly give off the right impression.).

Going back, I was on the brink of desperation and was trying to convince myself that being a phone monkey wasn't so bad (no offense to the hordes of phone monkeys out there.), when I got an unexpected call from a company I don't even remember applying to. She invited me to an interview for a position I wasn't exactly crazy about (after all, who would want to sell furniture?). I told myself, "What the heck, it's not like my planner is crammed with things to do, aside from 'have laundry picked up and rearrange closet'". After a brief talk with the HR person, I was endorsed to the AVP for Sales. As I stepped in her office three days later, she immediately picked up my resume, looked at me and said, "I think that you would be perfect for Marketing. If they have an openning, would you be interested?" I wonder if she heard the Ding! Ding! Ding! that rang in my head as my eyes lit up and my mouth broke into a wide grin. I desperately tried to conceal my excitement and composed myself as she picked up the phone and called the Marketing Head. The next thing I knew, I was having the best interview in the history of my yuppie life (and by now, I am nothing short of a jobhunting pro.). The Marketing Head of this company is honestly the coolest corporate being I have ever met. She's gorgeous, a vision in bloody red, and judging from the way she accessorizes, I can tell that we have a lot in comon and will get along just fine.

It's almost scary how confident I feel about getting this job. I never even mentioned it to anyone, for fear of having to lick my wounded ego if I end up not getting it. I have been praying for a sign eversince I went on my first interview, and God knows how many times I have been burned. Kookie was right, I shouldn't get desperate and rush into a job that I don't like 100% from the beginning. Otherwise, I fall into the same trap again. Oh well, the sign will come, I am sure. In the meantime, I will make the most out of staying up 'till 3am, waking up at lunchtime, and having all the time in the world to read my books that have been gathering dust on my shelves. It isn't so bad.

Pilot Blog

2004-05-27T01:27:00.000+08:00

I am not normally a bandwagon whore (ok, ok, I DID speed read all five Harry Potter books, but only when everybody stopped convincing me to. It's quite addictive, actually.), but I just realized that commenting on everyone else's blogs is actually fairy amusing. Besides, next to shopping, bitching is my favorite guilty pleasure.

Bitch on and peace out!